Being a mother and wife is wonderful. I felt such a huge responsibility having the titles of mother and wife that I dedicated everything, my whole life really. I entirely gave up my social life including the majority of friends that I had. I stopped going out with my girlfriends because I felt guilty going out without my husband or kids. I felt people would judge me and think I was a bad mother, I actually believed I would be a bad mother if I went out with the purpose of having a good time for myself. I was always thinking of the negative things that could happen. This is truly one of the biggest regrets that I have.
I have come to realize that it’s important to keep your friends, to maintain a social life, and to go out every once in a while. Whether your going out with a friend to get a pedicure and manicure or going out for lunch or at night for some drinks. Just because I became a mother does not mean I am a bad one for wanting to take a break from it all. It’s not a bad thing to want to get away for just an hour or two. I felt miserable for a long time and I know that the fact I had given up my social life played a major part in me feeling like that. I noticed my personality changed, which of course I also know as we get older it happens but I realized I was changing for the worse. Not with my children but just with myself. I didn’t like the type of person that I had become. I felt unhappy, I realized I turned into this very sour person who thought negatively about everything and everyone new who wanted to come into my life.
Finally I realized this was not me, this was not the person I used to be or the person I wanted to be. I wanted to have my group of girlfriends again and make time to hang out with them with or without my kids and husband. I wanted to have that old part of me back. Luckily there are a couple of friends that I didn’t push away and that also put forth effort to keep in touch with me regardless of my lack of trying. So for those women that are married with kids, it’s important to know that it is important to maintain that social life, that life outside of your everyday life at home. It is OK to make time for yourself without feeling guilty about it!